CIVILISATION, A TWO EDGE SWORD

A picture I took last November during a trip to my maternal home. I tag it, the pure Joy without civilization.

Everyone seem to be busier these days than usual in the Nigerian society. Busy to meet the perfect standards the media especially social media has subconsciously registered in our heads.

The standard for a perfect body, woman, man, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, food, facial features, accent, lifestyle etc. Everything you can think of now has the yard stick for measuring perfect standards.

More than half of the population in Korea have had a cosmetic surgery. Before now mothers were less concerned about their stomach after giving birth but today mother's go for tummy tuck surgeries after giving birth, men and women now go for implants to achieve the perfect body and avoid aging! 

In Nigeria we were happier with our imperfect and less busy Lives. 

We were happier with the lives where parents actually know their children better than knowing how to post their pictures on their special days.

We were happier with the lives where parents used to love their children unconditionally not loving just the smart child, the pretty child, the married child or the wealthy child because they make them acceptable to the society or a certain class. 

We were happier when mother's actually do Omugwo for their children not bringing the child to her house for a 2 weeks holiday and return her to her husband, because she is busy with her own work/business.

We were happier when people loved you for you, and not for what they can get or is getting from you, this profit driven society has been taken off bounds into our relationship and families.

True love doesn't exist no more, nobody really cares. All people care about is what you can do for them, regardless of how you feel or how many toes they step on to get what they want.

People spend, weeks, months, a life time, a fortune just to show and deceive people that they are better off. Fake smiles and life on social media. Everyone trying to show that they have met "the standard".

How much people like your pictures is now a yardstick for measuring personal perfection. Things were done simplier when we didn't have to worry about social media likes. Now people borrow to meet the standard weddings, birthday and even burial, putting themselves under undue pressure.

• Everything is exaggerated in the internet. People now worry about their penis size / vagina shape and sexual stamina and performance because of pornography, which is all fake and edited. But that unfortunately  has become our standard for sex! 

People now die taking all kind of drug and substance to increase sexual performance and penis size and even undergo surgeries to get the perfect vagina!

We are totally self consumed now, parents are now more concerned about the physical appearance of their children. They hope they meet the internet standards and are worthy of a thousand likes. Not putting such effort in their emotional, academic and spiritual lives. Children are losing their way everyday.

Nobody checks up on you until they want something from you.

Now ours lives is getting  colder than winter in the North Pole, farther apart like the fan blades. We are all busy trying to meet this ridiculous standard we have kept for ourselves that we are losing touch of our humanity.

The pressure is real, depression is becoming the new normal... Hypertension is the new healthy, heart attack is the new fun, emotional eating is the new swag.

Before now, we in Nigeria hear of depression and suicide from our more civilised brothers. But today it is slowly becoming a norm among us too. I may be wrong but the civilised society is depressing and pressuring. Everyone is busy! We wanted to be civilized but we were not ready for the consequences that comes with it. It's not like we would have been able to do anything about becoming civilized though. We only saw the fancy things of civilization never the bad side and so we prayed and wished for it. 

Look around you, take a break, forget your mobile phones for a while. Who is that person begging for help next to you, who is that Halimat girl next door, make her understand that she doesn't have to leave this world to be happy. Make her understand that someone truly cares and love her regardless and unconditionally today.

And to you who is depressed already, and under the pressure for anything or reason. Don't settle in. Like me, speak up, write it down, read it over and over till it becomes too small, listen to some spirit lifting music, dance to it,  eat food, hang out with friends or loved ones, if you feel you don't have any Thel me! I am your Thelmate remember?. Depression will make you want to push everyone away but do not let it, please don't let it. You are strong,  fight for your happiness.

Tomorrow will be better, but you got to stay alive to see it.

In memory of all those lost to depression  And pressure in the civilised world!

So Thel me what you think?
Thel us other ways you have been able to fight depression and shield yourself of the pressure of the civilised world?