My "Fat" story...

Being an overweight young woman in Nigeria is a full time job. Funny enough most ladies in Nigeria are. Before now "fat women" was the standard for a true African woman and that was what our men loved. I hear they loved the extra skin 'something they can hold'. 

In most cultures before now in Nigeria women go into what is called "fatting room" which is part of the traditional rite before she gets married. As the name implies, this rite is carried out to actually get you fat enough before you get married and so for some days before your traditional wedding ceremony, you are kept in a room where you are allowed to do absolutely nothing but eat plenty of food and sleep and also advised  on how to run your new home from elderly women in the family plus you are given a body massage from time to time. After the stipulated number of days for this rite the woman comes out looking fatter/fresher, which is automatically interpreted as been ready for marriage. But today the reverse is the case, people now go to gym and stay on strict diet to loose a substantial amount of weight fast before their big day. 

One day we woke up, without notice and sadly people like us were taken unaware.. Extra weight is now a crime! somehow it became and unwritten law not to be "fat" especially as a lady. People like me are still very much in the past and old fashioned. But unfortunately I have been forced to come out by the society. 

What happened? Oyibo people came with their wahala and as usual to an Africa man what ever the white man likes is the best and gradually our standard for an African beauty changed from being chubby to slim. 

A day never passes without someone commenting on your weight mostly in an annoying or a derogatory manner. 

You can't eat in peace in public, dare it and you hear comments like and I sarcastically answer accordingly "no wonder you are fat" really?,  "so this is why you are fat" are you just realizing?.., that food is too much for you" but it is not too much for you?, "if I am like you, I will stop eating" no you wouldn't sir,  "so you still eat this with all this weight" no I will starve...etc the list goes on and on. Most times when they make this comments the said food is even not as much as theirs or that bad like they say it. Some even go as far as giving you weight loss advice or ask ridiculous questions, like "don't you jog", "don't you fast", "how many times do you eat a day" etc. Like they do any of those *scoff**

And the most annoying of all is the assumptions. One time someone even told me to my face "you snore right?" any body will know that is not a question but a conclusion  and am like will they ever let me be! Let's not talk about my reply to "brother question" now. You are fat equal you are lazy, you are fat equal you are not discipline, you are fat equals you are dirty, you are fat equals you are not smart, you are fat equals you won't be good in bed, you are fat equals you are selfish/greedy...

Sadly too,  I hear that back then when fat was trending, slim people suffered the same tongue lashing from the society too. So I guess society calls the shots after all, and it's just unfortunate for us that we came into an age where we are no longer trending.

For what it's worth I love my body but I am considering coming to the modern age now,  mostly because of health purposes, I have read of all the health risk associated with weight and if I am being honest most very old women I have seen usually have a tiny/ slim body frame. So I guess if I intend getting old and healthy enough to enjoy a longer life I just have to stop "rebelling" against the society by dropping the excess weight plus I noticed smaller dresses are finer. Finally I will stop being accused of making the bus/taxi seat tight and uncomfortable for others, so annoying.. *smiles* 

When it comes to my weight I noticed I can be stubborn and from what I have heard most fat people are, how?  When you talk about my weight I eat more *smiles*. So tongue lashing fat people most times only makes things worse.

So hello fat sisters, you have to love that body first before you can think of what to do to it, get comfortable in it. If you have a confidence or self esteem issue deal with it, because no amount of weight you lose will fix that. I carry my weight around proudly, before you make a comment relating to my weight/ tease me about my weight I make a better comment and do the teasing first and most times they shut up and mind their business. I know some people mean well when they talk about your weight, but most persons don't. They just talking to run you down, (running people down seem to be a thing with this generation, little wonder the increase in depression and suicide), and when I spot comments like that, I don't take it easy on them at all... 

Seriously speaking now, the body shaming thing is not funny, most persons are fat because of their genes, and from a book I read (Gabriel method for weight loss) because of something they maybe dealing with either from the past or presently, so the body put up weight for security and no matter what they do they don't lose weight,  until they have dealt with the root cause of the weight gain then the body feels safer to let go of the extra weight. I recommend you read this book if you want to lose weight the right and lasting way, just like am doing now (dieting is not for me at all).

 Just live and let live!

 The stress in Nigeria is already too much on all of us, in fact carrying those extra weight around is even enough stress so don't add to someone else's stress by body shaming directly or indirectly. It's immature and insensitive.

So Thel me your fat story?

Thel me how you have been dealing with Comments concerning your weight?

Thel me how you lost weight ?

Thel me what changed?

This is Thelmate let's talk about the "fatties"